My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
