I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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