Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
