Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
