I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
