Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
