hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
