Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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