So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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