On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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