So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
