it was like his penis was on wheels.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
