After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
