Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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