Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
