You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
