If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize