Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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