if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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