I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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