You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
People in love make me want to vomit
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
