people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
