there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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