it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
