I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize