it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize