I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
