Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
