you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
