I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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