He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
