Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
