This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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