OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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