it was like getting a handjob from robocop
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
