its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
