??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
