i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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