i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
