I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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