do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize