I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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