Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize