i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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