Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
