Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
