I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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