physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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