Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize