when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize