I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
