when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
