wake up i wanna do it froggy style
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
