wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
