this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
