the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
