I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
