I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
