Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
