my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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