We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize