Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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