i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize