forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she looked like the before picture.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
