He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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