Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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