It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
